The Reel Sh!t

When it comes to movies, we cut the crap

THE TOURIST – Finally, two of the sexiest people alive

Combining the likes of Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie is pure genius.  Yes, these two actors are hard on the eyes.  Honestly, it’s a challenge just to look at either one.

More to the point: Why has it taken so long for Depp and Jolie to star in a movie together?  Depp is mysteriously sexy with an adorable personality that’s hard to resist, and Jolie is both lavishing and breathtaking.  The two emit a sexual vibe that leaves the audience wanting more. Or just wanting.

The trailer for The Tourist leaves little to the imagination.  The movie does have several dry moments but, if you are looking for a dramatic thriller with plenty of twists and turns, this movie is for you. 

Elise, played by Jolie, is being followed by numerous government agencies.  She has been on the run for roughly two years.  The audience discovers that the man Elise is in love with is wanted in connection for embezzlement.  He stole earnings in excess of $2 billion from a mob boss.  Now, the government is using Elise as its connection to this criminal.

To throw off authorities, Elise targets someone who can very well resemble her lover.  She chooses Frank (Depp) to be her decoy, but soon discovers herself falling in love with him.  Frank falls passionately in love with Elise, even though the mob, police and numerous government agencies are after him.  Will the two be able to resolve their differences and start a life together, or will one of them get whacked first?

SPECIAL NOTE: The Reel Sh!t team has gone uptown. We have a graphic to illustrate our ratings. Brown is sh!tty and white is unshi!tty. So, this one gets two rolls of toilet paper out of five. Yeah, that’s a first-class ticket.

Consensus:

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